Just Because He Breathes

How God Taught Us to Truly Love our Gay Child

Just Because He Breathes…

On the night of November 20, 2001, a conversation held over Instant Messenger changed our lives forever. Our twelve-year-old son messaged me in my office from the computer in his bedroom. Ryan says: can i tell u something Mom says: Yes I am listening Ryan says: well i don’t know how to say this really…

June 12, 2013
What I Wish I Would Have Said When My Son Came Out…

I would love to say that if I was given a do-over for the evening when my 12-year-old son Ryan first came out, I’d tell him that the news that he was gay was wonderful and that we were rejoicing to know more about the person God had created him to be. But that wasn’t…

June 15, 2013
Mail to Ryan…Our Beautiful Boy

My husband, Rob, wrote this letter to Ryan as part of our expanded “Just Because He Breathes” presentation for Exodus International. The video below was shown in our presentation, after Rob read this: Dear Ryan, I miss you so much. I don’t really know how heaven works because you might already know everything I’m about…

June 23, 2013
Grace

One of the best gifts about the ten months we had with Ryan before his death was the time we were given to ask forgiveness for the things we had not understood, the things we had said that were hurtful and the ways we had communicated less than unconditional love for Ryan in the years…

June 25, 2013
My Gay Son’s Wedding

A couple of weeks ago, a dear friend from church posed this question to me: “If Ryan were alive today, and he was going to marry his boyfriend, would you and Rob attend the wedding?” My immediate thought was – to be COMPLETELY honest – “HELL YES!” (For those of you who know me, I…

June 27, 2013
Everyone Has a Story…

“Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.” — James M. Barrie When our four kids were growing up, I used to always remind them that everyone has a story. I would tell them that no matter how grumpy someone may have been, how annoying their behaviors or how…

July 15, 2013
So I’ve Come Out to My Christian Parents…Now what?

Ever since Just Because He Breathes was printed on Huff Post, I’ve been getting emails. LOTS of emails. And so many of them have been from gay “children” who want to have a healthy, good relationship with their Christian parents. I’ve noticed that a lot of you, like me, are people pleasers…and almost all of…

July 19, 2013
Two Questions and an Invitation…

First, the Questions I have been thinking a lot about what I would do differently if I knew, back when Ryan was 12, what I know now. I have been asked that question quite often, and it is a good one. But I’d really like to hear your thoughts…if you are an LGBTQ “child,” here…

July 25, 2013
My Identity as a Straight Christian

Today I welcome my first guest blogger, our dear friend, Julie Rodgers, who is on her way from Dallas to Seattle to spend the weekend with us right now! As a straight Christian woman, I “identify” myself as a heterosexual ALL THE TIME. One look at my FaceBook, and my friends know that I am…

August 1, 2013
Weep with Those Who Weep…Please.

When a child dies, the first place that parents, siblings, aunts and uncles often look for comfort is the church. The church – the Body of Christ – will know how to help us. The church will know how badly we hurt – they’ve helped hundreds of families bury their children. The church will be…

August 6, 2013